29-year-old woman's in-laws "accidentally" call her by their son's ex-girlfriend's name “Laura,” she refuses to invite them to the wedding if they continue "slipping up": ‘It happens at least once every visit, despite me correcting them’

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 27, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

There are mistakes, and then there are "mistakes." Forgetting your keys at home is a mistake. Putting half a cup of salt into your cookie dough instead of white sugar is a certified honest mistake. Accidentally calling your partner by your ex's name once at the beginning of the relationship? Okay, that one is painful, but it's definitely still a mistake. But what if it happens over and over, year after year? Well, it starts to feel more like a pointed reminder and less like an accident.

That's what this young woman is dealing with. She's engaged to Ethan, who dated a woman named Laura for a long 5 years. His parents got pretty attached to her during this time, and ever since our narrator came into the picture, they can't seem to stop "slipping up" and calling her by the ex's name. It happens almost every time she visits despite constant corrections. Now the wedding is coming up, and she's had enough. She's told Ethan that if his parents can't stop calling her by her real name, they won't be invited. Unfortunately, he's not backing her with this decision. Instead, he defends mom and dad, insisting that it's just "old habits." Scroll down to find out what the internet has to say. 

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  • 01

    AITJ for telling my fiancé I won't invite his parents to our wedding if they keep calling me by his ex's name?

    Cheezburger Image 10547146496
    via Wavebreakmedia from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    1 (29F) am engaged to "Ethan" (30M). He dated "Laura" (29F) for 5 years before me, and they were very serious. His parents loved her. I've
    via u/ResidentHotel3053
  • 03
    been with Ethan for 3 years, and while his parents are polite, they constantly "slip up" and call me Laura. It happens at least once every visit, despite me correcting them.
    via u/ResidentHotel3053
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10547145984
    via Thomas_EyeDesign from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Last weekend at dinner, his mom did it again. I laughed awkwardly, but afterward I told Ethan I'm at my limit.
    via u/ResidentHotel3053
  • 06
    If they can't call me by my actual name at my own wedding, they don't need to come. Ethan got upset and
    via u/ResidentHotel3053
  • 07
    said I'm being extreme, they're "just old habits" and I should be more patient.
    via u/ResidentHotel3053
  • 08
    I told him it doesn't feel like a slip anymore, it feels disrespectful. Now he says I'm trying to "cut his family out" and is mad at me. AITJ for drawing that boundary?
    via u/ResidentHotel3053

  • They've had a grand total of 5 years to get over Laura and 3 to get used to our narrator. This is obviously just a way to emotionally manipulate her. 

  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10547146240
    via Wavebreakmedia from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    AffectionatePizza335 Not the j . It's a completely reasonable boundary. But it sounds like you have a "fiancé" problem, not
    via u/AffectionatePizza335
  • 11
    an in-law problem. What is his reaction to these "slip ups"? Why isn't he addressing them publicly and privately?
    via u/AffectionatePizza335
  • 12
    Calling you by his ex's name isn't just insulting to you, it's insulting him as well. It's indicating that he doesn't know his own mind enough.
    via u/AffectionatePizza335
  • 13
    I would seriously reconsider any involvement with a man who refuses to go to bat for me, and doesn't see this as a problem. It's giving you a preview of your future with him.
    via u/AffectionatePizza335
  • 14
    Jaded Pea_3697 Adding to this, after 3 years together these are not "slip ups". It's disrespect and your fiancé should absolutely be correcting them every time and telling them to stop. I wouldn't want them at my wedding either
    via u/Jaded Pea_3697
  • 15
    BlazingSunflowerland Since the fiancé has let this go on for three years he doesn't sound like a keeper. It's up to him to shut this down. Not inviting his parents
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 16
    to the wedding won't do anything to change their behavior but will make them even more hostile. I'd put off the wedding until they can go a year without calling OP by the
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 17
    wrong name. Or, the fiancé can put his parents into time out each time they call her by the wrong name, with the length of the timeout getting longer each time.
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland

  • This would be my chaotic first instinct, to give them a taste of their own medicine. The real, rational thing is to reconsider the relationship entirely if soon-to-be husband doesn't think this is a big deal.

  • 18
    Maybe a two month timeout the first time it happens after having it explained to them what will happen. The second time would be double that so four months.
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 19
    The third time would be double of the four months so 8 months. Etc. The fiancé needs a spine.
    via u/BlazingSunflowerland
  • 20
    Realistic_Regret_180 Start calling your fiancee mom by your ex boyfriends moms name.
    via u/Realistic_Regret_180
  • 21
    Z4-Driver I just wanted to suggest the same thing. And, like someone else suggested, call your fiancé by the name of your ex-bf. Or switch with different ex's names.
    via u/Z4-Driver
  • 22
    Dizzy_Signature_2145 Start calling Ethan your ex-bf name. He will figure it out.
    via u/Dizzy_Signature_2145
  • 23
    Fuller1017 NTJ and that is not a habit. It's passive aggressive bulls Tell him to fix it or • he can go be with Laura. His parent are too old for this bulls
    via u/Fuller1017
  • 24
    NTJ carmackie They have had 3 years to get your name right. This doesn't seem like a slip up to me. I'm guessing the
    via u/carmackie
  • 25
    parents liked the ex, and this is some passive aggressive bulls you are dealing with. You need to have an unpleasant conversation with your fiancé before a wedding takes place.
    via u/carmackie
  • 26
    Candid_Jellyfish_240 Suddenly picturing OP wearing a name badge at every meeting with her future in-laws. Now that would be appropriate passive-aggressive "revenge". But a bit petty. Still, it could work.
    via u/Candid_Jellyfish_240
  • 27
    G-reeper66 Just let it slip to them that they will never have a grandchild if they keep on using her name! That might be enough to persuade them to get it right.
    via u/G-reeper66

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family drama relationships parenting wedding couples exes mother in law love family engagement red flag Reddit relationship drama
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